


Don't Dead- Open Inside

by HurtTheOnesILove



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:36:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HurtTheOnesILove/pseuds/HurtTheOnesILove
Summary: What if Rick Grimes actually died in that hospital room?Shane, his girlfriend Laurie and her son Carl are leading a group of survivors out of Atlanta. They will lose a lot along the way, but some pretty incredible things will happen too.This is the story everyone has considered but no one has told.Seen from the eyes of Brittany Boggs, a new original character. Britt is a twenty eight year year old with military training. Accompanying her is her three year old German Shepard, Ki- a police dog.I hope you all enjoy and remember- we are all in this together. Comments and suggestions are always welcome.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s), Lori Grimes/Shane Walsh, Maggie Greene/Glenn Rhee
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

I have been walking for weeks and I was exhausted.

I pushed my blonde hair out of my face as I scooped some water out of the tiny stream and brought it to my mouth, feeling the cold liquid run thru me; making me shake off a chill despite the sweltering Georgia heat. Mark and Ki, Marks K-9 partner, followed suite, us all stopping for this small second. We could afford to enjoy this moment.

Moments were all we had anymore.

We left Atlanta weeks ago and followed the highway for as long as we could as we fought our way out of the city. I had a few knives on my body, a handgun on my belt and a crossbow on my back. I had spent my entire life preparing and training for war and now that the time had come again- I realized I wasn't ready at all. Not for this.

Not to put blades in humans who were no longer human.

Ki growled as we stood there and I immediately looked around, knowing danger was near. It wasn't just the dead that were being irrational- the living seemed to be practicing the 'scorched earth' method of survival. Take what they want and destroy it for anyone else. Its been six weeks since the government and military fell- and we hadn't met a single decent human since.

I heard the rustle in the clearing and I crouched down, eye level with my canine companion- following his keen senses as I pulled out my crossbow and prepared to fire. The leaves rustled again and a deer came into the clearing, an arrow already sticking out of its side.

More humans.

I was not ready to deal with more insanity. More thievery. More crime. I lined up the shot and watched as it stood cautiously- utlimately deciding against the kill. Whoever was gunning for it- should eat. We had a few more days of rations before we were screwed- these people had clearly been tracking and working towards this meal.

"AHH!!!"

I jumped at the sound of the scream, looking back to see a living dead ripping out Marks throat. Two more were approaching and I fired at the one on Mark, missing its head- the arrow plunging deep into its neck. The blood from the gaping bite wound ran down my husband's shirt- covering it in a sick stain that I would never get out. Ki began barking wildly as I stumbled backwards, falling over a fourth walker grabbing at my leg from the ground. I landed on its back with a sickening thump, its skin tearing open and its organs in a pile splattered out around me. I pulled my knife, ending its life as I tried to stand, being knocked down again by another walker. Mark wasn't yelling anymore as I shot the crossbow- successfully hitting the walker in front of me in the eye with a sickening wet noise. Suddenly a living human hand was out to me, pulling me up as another guy shot and killed the two remaining dead.

"Christ." I muttered, looking back at Ki for injuries who was being pet by the person who helped me to my feet. "Merle?" I asked in suprise and he laughed as he recognized me, pulling me in for a tight hug.

"Suprised to see me Dandillon?!" He asked with a big smile and I nodded. I rejoiced his help, only for a moment, before dropping my weapons and falling to my knees beside Mark. He was dead- i knew it when I saw the blood- but I still checked his pulse with my fingers. Sighing, I pulled out another knife and pushed it deeply into his temple before he came back to bite me in the ass- literally speaking.

"Were you bit?" The second guy asked me in a deep husky voice as I put the knife back in my belt and stood, wiping away the singular tear from my cheek with my forearm.

"Yeah right! Little brother- this here is Brittany Boggs. We served together in Iraq." Merle introduced me as the guy contuined to study me for several moments. "Dandillon- this here is my little brother Daryl."

"Nice to meet you." I stated, picking up my weapons and frowning at my dead husband's body. I could hear Ki growling again- and I knew that meant more trouble. I looked around, standing in between the two men, all of us with weapons drawn. The dog stood beside me- hair raised on his back as he growled deeper. One seemingly freshly came out from the trees- and was met with an arrow in each eye.

"Nice shot." Daryl stated, retrieving the ammo and handing it to me.

"We got a camp, bout a mile from here. You and your zombie detector wanna come along?" I nodded at Merle as he spoke, grabbing my bookbag and following them thru the woods. "So, was that uhh... whats his name? The police officer who knocked you up?"

"Mark. Yeah." I shrugged.

"Poor bastard." Merle answered, his brother scoffing at his comment. "No rugrats?"

"Uhh.... we had one. Mel. She was three. She umm... didn't make it." I shrugged, wiping another tear off my face.

"You have had a shitty couple weeks." Daryl told me, as if I didn't know. "Sorry." He muttered, walking up ahead of Merle and I. We heard a scream and took off towards the noise. Ki matching Daryls pace in front of us. Looks like he found a friend.

A dead one was feasting on a deer in a clearing- Daryl cursing under his breath as he put an arrow in its head. A black haired lady stood nearby- obviously the screamer- her eyes wide. A young boy stood beside her, eyes equally wide.

"I've been tracking that damn deer all day. Waste now." He scoffed, looking back at me and Merle before taking his arrows and walking away, Ki following along- tail wagging.

"Ah. Shit. Looks like we are eating squirrel again." Merle pouted. "Come on Dandillon.... let's get you settled into camp. I'll put my brother with me, you can use his tent." I nodded, following him a few steps behind. I took a moment to admire the setting sun- the sky dark purples and red.

Another small moment.

I was suprised at the amount of people milling about as we walked. Daryl was settled by a fire, Ki at his feet chewing on a stick while he cleaned his weapons. Kids were playing tag, women laughing, men sharing a drink and smiles. I was overwhelmed- the day getting away from me.

My husband was dead.  
My daughter was dead.

One mile from where I was drinking out of a muddy creek was community. Family. Hope. A possibility of a future. How many others have died before they too; found this? How many others have given up? Mark was close. He voiced to me many times how he couldn't keep going. I, on the other hand, never thought- I always just reacted. But Mark.... he was a dreamer.

And then there was Merle.

How unlikely was it for me to run into him here... of all places and times. We were comrades overseas. We fought together, got stabbed together, nearly died together. He was a brazen, outspoken son of a bitch but once I cracked that super hard exterior- a decent guy was buried underneath. I could of had any job in the military due to my dads ranking- i chose to run a small group who took out terrorist cells. Got pregnant and decided to take an honorable discharge and focus on my soon to be husband and daughter. Four years later... the world ends and Merle appears- fighting for our lives once again.

"Hi! I'm Lori. This here is Carol." The black haired girl stuck her hand out to me and I simply smiled, ignoring her gesture.

"Britt." I told her, following Merle over to the tents. I could hear the snickers but I chose to ignore them. Women always tried to be my friend or hate me. I looked like a damn barbie doll. My long blonde curly hair, long legs, big breasts...... they saw me as a threat and wanted me to like them or felt threatened. I wasn't here for them. I was here to survive. She screamed when she saw a dead walking. I wonder just how many she had killed.

I was up to sixty three.


	2. Fire

I sat comfortably between Merle and Daryll as the rest of the group spoke on recent events. I had been here three days and stayed to myself till tonight. Merle forced me to come socialize. Dale, the old guy with the RV, offically welcomed me to camp and warned me of the small hoarde that took their people the night before I arrived. Andrea, another blonde, spoke about killing her sister and Carol spoke about killing her husband. I guess in some way they were trying their best to relate to me. Merle told them war stories about our time overseas and talked up what a badass I was. I sat silently, watching Daryl frown at his brother a lot while he carved arrows, shaking his head and not saying a word. I wondered briefly if he had ever mentioned me to him before we met here.

"Come on Britt. Give us something! You haven't said a word since you arrived!" Shane, the groups leader and Lori's boyfriend exclaimed and I shook my head. "How do we know we can trust you if you won't talk to us?" I frowned, shaking my head again.

"She said she doesn't wanna talk man. Leave her alone." Daryl snapped at Shane, his fists tightening as he sat beside me.

"Well... excuse us. Just trying to get to know this girl you found in the woods. Shes still a stranger." Lori, steady on the bullshit, whined back dramatically. Carol frowned at Lori but said nothing.

"I vouched for her." Merle stated, patting my arm. "Should be good enough."

"No offense but your word ain't shit." Lori edged him on, causing him to stand up, hand on his hip where a gun was.

"Sit down Hulk." I quietly said to him, watching him slowly sit, arms still flexed for battle. "I'm not ready to talk everyone. I'm heading to sleep." I shrugged, both Merle and Daryll stood up- following me away from the group.

"You okay?" Merle asked me and I nodded. "Brother, keep an eye on her tonight while I'm gone. She's family to me." He added, turning and walking the fifty feet back to the group that was beginning to depart. I followed Daryl to the tents and sighed, sitting on the ground outside of where I was to sleep.

"Where are you gonna be tonight?" I asked and he pointed to the one I sat in front of as he sat down with me. "With me and Ki huh?"

"It is my tent... but I can sleep out here if you want." He shrugged. "Merle said keep up with you so thats what imma do." I nodded, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, inhaling deeply before offering it over, which he accepted. I lit another and laid back in the grass, my head near his leg as I turned sideways to face him.

"Don't sleep outside. That's stupid." I offered a small smile as he nodded slowly, dragging on the cigarette and blowing it up into the sky. "Did he mention me? Before...?"

"Yeah. Once or twice. We uhh... we don't talk like that. Just stupid shit."

"You guys really saved my ass. So if I didn't say it yet... thank you."

"Yep." He answered, pointing back to the main camp. "There they go- out doing a sweep, looking for more walkers. In the morning Merle and Glenn are gonna do a supply run before we head out. Now that your not sleeping all day and night you gotta earn your keep. You know how to hunt?" I nodded and he smirked. "Fine. We leave at dawn. People gotta eat."

Cigarettes finished we went inside the tent, Ki laying down immediately and passing out. Daryll zipped it shut and laid down as far to one side as he could, I did the same on the other- the dog making out with a giant spot in the middle to stretch out. For a while I watched this man sleep peacefully before drifting off myself- finally relaxing and falling asleep for the first time since I've arrived.

************************

"You snore." Daryll said as he shook my arm and my eyes shot open, catching my surroundings. Mark? Well no dummy Mark is dead. 

Oh god.

I rolled over to see Daryll looking at me with a frown as I shrugged. Slowly sitting up as he continued to watch me, watching him.

"Seriously. You snore."

"It was my first time sleeping in ages.. I'm sorry." I defended myself, looking as innocent as possible.

"Fucking with you." He smirked again.

"I'm gonna just... uhh.... yep..." I stuttered, the events of the past few weeks crashing back into me. I felt my chest get tight and I tried breathing in deeply but it wouldn't go into my lungs. Daryl sat up and frowned, studying me while my panic attack subsided. I climbed out of the tent, Lori's eyes wide as Daryl came out directly behind me. I had tears streaming down my face and my whole body was shaking.

"What you do to her?!" Lori asked loudly, shoving him and I shook my head for her to stop- not that she was looking. "What did you do?!" She screamed again, running off- hollaring for Shane.

"You good?" Daryl simply asked me, his hand on my arm and I nodded, my breath steady but my heart still beating. Ki was barking over and over- standing in front of Daryl and I, growling as Lori approached again.

"Get your dog on a leash!" She screeched and I shook my head, patting Ki on the back.

"I meant Daryl." She hissed, storming off with her arms crossed as Shane approached shirtless and looking confused, Carol right beside him.

"What's the problem?" He asked, looking at us and I shrugged.

Daryl scoffed, spitting on the dirt and lighting a cigarette. "I'm going hunting. Stay at camp." He mumbled, grabbing his crossbow and taking off into the woods- Ki following beside him.

Some loyal dog he is.

"Uhh... just thought you should know- T-Dog, Dale, Merle and I went and got your husband. Buried him for you. Uhh...." he reached into his jean pocket and pulled something out- holding it out for me. I frowned, sticking my hand towards him slowly and frowning when he dropped it. Marks wedding band. I sighed, shoving it in my pocket.

"Thank you.... Shane. Seriously."

"Daryl didn't..... you are okay right?" He asked awkwardly, his hand rubbing over his head.

"No. What? God no. All the grief.... it just hit me all at once." I admitted and he nodded.

"Ya know.... my partner Rick. He was Lori's husband. He got shot and died days before all hell broke loose. She's a little on edge. Try not to hold it against her. She's a good person."

"We all are." Carol added with a small smile, stepping aside as Shane walked away. "Want some coffee? I have instant!"

"Oh my god. Yes." I answered, smiling at her as she led me towards the RV.

As we sat on folding chairs, listening to White Snake on a battery operated boom box and drinking shitty coffee I thought about what Mark would say. He would of felt at peace- this place was everything he wanted. I also thought about his reaction to Merle hugging me and internally cringed. From this day forward no more forced sexual encounters with whoever he pushed me on, no more beatings, no more harsh words and no more awful days.

A girl could get used to this.


	3. Last Goodbye

It was mid-day when Daryl returned, young deer over his shoulders. He gave me a nod as he passed- dropping the deer by the fire pit for Shane to admire as he took to prepare it for cooking, right there. Glenn pulled up in the car, moments later- covered in blood, a panicked look on his face as he opened the back door- screaming for help. Daryl was there immediately, along with Shane and T-Dog- pulling a bloody Merle out of the back. He was unconscious and as I approached, saw the buckshot holes all over his body.

Someone tried to kill him.

We got him into the RV and onto the bed in the back, where we all worked to try and save his life. I had small amounts of field experience in medical skills- but looking at the multiple wounds- it seemed futile. There was no way to safely get all the bullets out without making his bleeding worse.

"Daryl........ he's not......" I tried to get out but he just nodded, a look of pain plastered on his face. He started to respond but stopped when Merle began to cough, his eyes suddenly opening.

"I know I'm dying Dandillon. You hush. Lemme talk to Daryl." He frowned as I stood up, walking out of the RV with Shane, leaving Daryl alone to say his goodbyes. It was more than most of us would get when a person got hurt. He needed this.

************************

Daryls P.O.V.

"What happened?" I asked, watching my brother lay there, blood seeping from his body, soaking the sheet over him.

"Doesn't matter. Look after Britt for me." He said coldly, frown on his face. "She will resist. Do it anyway."

"Why?"

"Cause she never gave up on me." He coughed, blood on his lips as he did.

"I'll keep her safe."

"Don't go dying on me either. You gotta live." I nodded as he coughed again, turning his head as a mouthful of blood ran out onto the pillows.

"I'll do my best." I muttered, my soul shattering. Merle was the only family I had. Now I was all alone.

"I'm sorry." He muttered. Coughing again. "Knife me brother. Do it now." He demanded, the blood on the sheet getting wetter as he spoke. The whites of his eyes were now yellow, tears forming in the corners. My heart beating as I pulled out my hunting knife, plunging the blade into his skull with all my might. Tears fell down my face as I sat here beside his body- my blood boiling. Someone killed my brother- and they would pay.

I took my knife and stormed out of the RV, walking up to Glenn and demanding to know what happened. He looked terrified as I stood there, knife in my hand pointed at him.

"Britt.... she's already.... she's...."

"Where?" I growled and he pointed down the road- where I barely made out her blonde hair as she ran. I took off after her, catching up at the bottom of the hill, Shane on my heels.

"Stop. You're never gonna make it on foot out here." Shane directed us. "Glenn was ten miles away. Said it was an accident."

I glared at Shane, knowing why I was chasing after Britt but not knowing why he was. I never even wanted to stay with the group- Merle did and I just rolled with it. Now this blonde bombshell who I barely knew was all revved up and ready for a fight.

"He's dead, isn't he?!" Britt shouted at Shane, shaking her head angrily. "And if the people followed them back?! Now we are all in danger."

"Come back to camp. Let's work out a plan." Shane pleaded and Britt shook her head.

"I'm staying here. You go back. It's not safe." She said seriously, Shane looking at me for help.

"I'll stay with her." I told him and he nodded, walking back up the road.

Britt sat on a large rock, lighting a cigarette and looking out around us. Ki laid by her feet, also looking around. They were both on edge and I didn't blame them.

"What did he say to you?" She asked as I stood there on the other side of the road- fighting the urge to cry as I looked at my hands, covered in my brothers blood.

"Told me not to die." I muttered and she shook her head, a look of amusement on her face.

"Bossy till the end." She whispered, looking at me- her angry eyes meeting my own. "He was a force to be reckoned with."

I nodded, completely agreeing with her but tired of talking about it at all.

*********************

Brittany's P.O.V.

I ventured back to camp as the sun rose the next morning. Daryl and I didn't speak much- but he was there. I felt comforted by his presence. We were trauma bonded and had a common enemy. It sounded like the great start to a romantic comedy- if this wasn't the end of the world. We killed a couple dead as they passed by but no living. I came to the conclusion they must not of been followed. Daryl followed me back to camp and went immediately to the fire area, sitting alone with a scowl on his face.

"You guys okay?" Shane asked and I nodded, dropping my gear beside me as I sat down beside Carol. "We are gonna head out soon. Head to Fort Benning. Maybe get some answers. We aren't safe out here." I nodded again as Lori approached, handing me a cup.

"It's an I'm sorry coffee. Can we start over?" She asked and I nodded, taking it from her and taking a sip. The hot liquid felt great on my throat and chest. Carl, Lori's son, grabbed a stick and threw it for Ki, running out into the field where tents were being dismantled.

"Thanks." I watched as Daryl approached, handing me cooked rabbit leg. It had been a day since we ate and I was starving.

"Most of us are riding in the RV. Shane will take Lori and Carl in the truck. You can come with us." Carol told me simply, assuming I was coming along. I honestly hadn't decided.

"Nah. She'll ride with me." Daryll spoke up and I nodded, not really sure what that meant but he was the one person I trusted out here. "Pack up. Let's go." He spoke to me, without looking my way as he headed towards the tents.

"Can I ask how you got him to talk to you?" Carol asked with a small smile and I chuckled. "Merle spoke highly of you the night before he....." her voice trailed off as I bit my lip.

I didn't respond. I just walked away.


	4. Kids Run

The road was blocked with hundreds of cars, parked aimlessly on the road in an abandoned traffic jam. The RV seemed to be overheating as we all stopped. I let go of Daryl as he cut the engine, getting off slowly and stretching. Shane gathered everyone up to direct the group as I lit a cigarette, climbing up on the hood of a nearby car. Ki was in the bed of the truck with Carl, enjoying the company of a child once more.

"I need a team of people to move cars out of the road while Dale fixes the RV. I also need lookouts. Let's move people. It's getting late. We have a lot of road to cover." People began looting cars as they walked down the line- killing trapped walkers as they opened doors. Everyone was scrambled, the kids playing tag as they ran.

I pulled a cooler out of the car i was looting- smiling at the two beers and bag of weed i found complete with rolling papers. This would do nicely, I thought, as I shoved it in my bag. I was heading to my fourth car to loot when I heard Ki growling. I looked up quickly, seeing the dozen dead coming towards us- more off in the distance. I yelled out and everyone scattered in the RV and under cars.

The dead made their way by slowly, grunting and growling as they went. I could smell the rot as they passed by and silently prayed Ki would stay quiet. He was tied up in the back of the truck. They would rip him apart and the hoarde would never leave. Minutes passed, but it felt like hours. It was like being in church and a joke popping up in your head- but you can't laugh. I have never had to cough so badly in my entire life.

Finally they were gone and as I started to slide out, I heard a scream. Sophia, Carol's daughter, had been spotted and it was laying on the road- reaching under the car, trying to get her. Shane stabbed it in the head and Sophia ran into the woods to escape. Shane ran after her while Lori held Carol back who was trying to go after them. I could see Carol's heart shattering as she cried- begging us to go help.

I contuined to move cars with T-Dog, knowing when Shane got back we had to go. Those things could of heard the screams and start heading back our way. We didn't need the fight right now. Just as the last one was moved- Shane came out of the woods alone.

"Where's Sophia?" Daryl asked him and he shook his head. "I'm going out there." He muttered, looking to me as I nodded, shutting the car door I was in and following him, along with Lori. Shane took Carl and went the way opposite of us.

The trees were thick as we stepped into them- my skin instantly cool despite the hot day. We didn't talk as we walked, checking for evidence of struggles and her footprints. The further we went, the more we didn't see. It was defeating.

"You think she's okay?" Lori asked me and I shrugged. I wish I had more information but she was just.... gone.

BOOM

"That was a gun shot!" I exclaimed, looking at Daryl. "We gotta get back."

"Go head... I'm gonna keep looking." I nodded, touching his arm briefly, his hand covering mine for just an instant. It was a 'take care of yourself and come back safely' all rolled up into one.

Moment. It was a moment.

Back on the road Dale and T-Dog were working hard on the RV, saying it would be ready to go soon. I unhooked Ki, bringing him into the RV and settling him with Andrea and Carol after they promised to look after him. I couldn't leave him in the heat any longer. Back outside, Lori was being pulled up onto a horse, Glenn frowning at what was happening.

"What the hell?" I asked in confusion as they rode away.

"Carls been shot. The warrior on the horse told us where to go. We are heading to their farm now." Glenn told me and I shook my head.

"You guys go. I'll wait here in case Sophia returns." I told Glenn, T-Dog joining him towards the farm while Andrea, Dale and the RV stayed behind with me to wait and hope with Carol.

*******************

It was nearly dark when Daryl returned, climbing on top of the RV and sitting beside me, bumping my arm with his elbow- pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Nothing?" I asked, he shook his head in response. "I'll go out with you in the morning. Take Ki. He might be able to sniff her out." He simply nodded, seemingly deep in thought as he lit a cigarette. "You check inside? Everyone okay?"

"Yeah. Sleeping. Ki is with Carol and Andrea on the bed." He told me softly, bumping my arm again. I pulled my bag over to me- pulling out the beer and handing him one. "Where did you find this?" He asked with a smirk and I chuckled, pointing to a car in the distance. We cracked the cans and drank in silence.

"You doing okay?" I asked him several minutes later and he frowned at me before nodding.

"I'm alright.... you?"

"Thinking about my own daughter." I confessed, wishing I hadn't as I watched his brows frown in concern.

"You don't gotta.... but if you wanna talk....."

"Not tonight." I sighed, laying my head on his arm. "I'm just glad it's not my own kid out there... ya know? Poor Carol."

"Yeah. We'll find her."

********************

"Morning sleepyheads!" Dale yelled out as he climbed on top the RV. Daryl was using my bag as a pillow and I was using his chest, my arm around his stomach. Sitting up with a start I noticed the sun had risen while we rested. "I'll take watch if you wanna go get some rest downstairs."

"Nah. Gonna keep looking for Sophia." Daryl stated quickly, climbing down- his face slightly red.

"Was it something I said?" Dale asked as I shrugged, grabbing my stuff and following Daryl to the woods once I got Ki.

"So.... it's a new day. You tell me something... I'll tell you something." Daryl asked and I nodded. "No judgment."

"You first." I told him and he shrugged.

"I uhh... got lost in the woods once for nine days when I was a kid. No one noticed I was missing. I came back- they didn't notice me then either. I have to find Sophia. I need her to know someone gives a shit."

He lit a cigarette, not looking at me after he spoke. I understood his motivation so much clearer now. He had to find her. Just like I needed to find her. I had my own motivations.

"Mark... uhh... my husband.... it was him." I sighed as he looked at me briefly with confusion. "When it all went to hell we were talking about how to survive and uhh... he shot my daughter in the head while she slept in her bed. Said we couldn't afford the dead weight. I need Sophia to know she isn't dead weight."

"Jesus...." he muttered... stopping for a moment and looking at me. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. The dead did what I couldn't. I wanted Mark dead- but I couldn't travel alone. Not like this. Not during this. I was weak."

"No. You're not. You survived. Was he always such a bastard?"

"Not till she was born. Then he used her as leverage to beat the hell out of me all the time. All my training... I never fought back. Not once...."

"You were protecting your kid. I'm glad you made it... if that helps."

"Why?" I asked and he shrugged, flicking his cigarette butt into the creek beside us. "What did you do... before?" I asked him as we started to walk again, following Ki.

"Drifted. Merle and I.... we just survived."

"I wish he had...."

"Me too."

We walked for hours in comfortable silence, occasionally talking about little things but the conversation was kept light. We killed the dead as we saw them but there wasn't much out here. As the sun began to lower we started to head back- another day gone. Ki never found a trail despite his tracking skills, and we never found any evidence. It was like she just.... vanished. Part of me hoped for the best while the rest of me understood- she was likely already dead.

Back at the road I spent the remaining hour of sunlight giving Carol an update. I vowed to keep looking tomorrow after we got the RV to the farm to check on the rest of our people. There had been no update on them and it was a hard pill to swallow- to think they might all be dead as well. I felt awful for thinking it but I knew the chances were high we would never see any of them again.

I climbed up to the roof again once everyone was asleep, rolling a joint and inhaling deeply. It was going to take my whole life to live with the hell that has been my life. My only joy now was killing the dead. My child was gone. My husband was gone. Beside Daryl, this group still had kitty cats and puppy dogs in their dreams while I was too fucked up to relate to.

It was better that I was alone. I deserved it.


	5. Greene Farm

At daybreak we left water and food, along with a note for Sophia before making out way to the farm. Carol was distraught at leaving the area, but we knew we needed to meet up with our people. I rode in the RV, rejoicing when we arrived to see everyone was still very much alive and well. Lori gave us the update that Carl had surgery the night before and the owner of the home was confident that he would pull thru.

Daryl had basically avoided me since our talk in the woods the day before. I was always in his eye sight- but not close enough to interact with. I could feel his eyes on me- watching as I helped unload tents and set them up in the yard. It would be a few weeks before Carl could travel and Shane had convinced the family to let us stay till then, long as we kept to our own.

Glenn was pacing- back and forth- muttering to himself, seemingly in distress. I approached him cautiously, putting my hands on his shoulders. He stopped, his eyes wide as I frowned at him.

"What's going on with you?" I asked and he sighed.

"How do you know if a girl likes you? I think she likes me but I don't... if this wasn't the apocalypse I wouldn't stand a chance." He muttered and I smiled.

"Maggie?" I asked and he nodded. I had seen her checking him out earlier while they were making plans for a supply run.

"Also Lori's pregnant." He blurted out and my eyes went wide. "She asked me to get her medicine to uhh... fix it." Ultimately, it was her decision. I couldn't imagine trying to have a baby during the current state of the world. "Don't tell anyone. Please."

"Secret saved." I told him, nodding as he breathed a sigh of relief. "Now... go get your woman!" I added, shoving his arm with my hand. He walked off smiling and I leaned against a tree, lighting a cigarette.

"That was good of you." Daryl stated from where he sat- sharpening his knives ten feet from me.

"Heard that huh?"

"Kinda hard not to." I walked over to him and sat beside him, handing him my cigarette and lighting another one.

"This place ain't so bad." I said, more to myself than him, but he nodded in response.

"Either of you guys looking for Sophia today?" Shane asked as he approached, looking worse for wear and sporting a newly shaved head.

"Inna bit." Daryl told him and Shane nodded.

"Imma go with you. Britt. Stay and keep an eye on things here."

"Sir yes sir." I responded, saluting Shane, causing him to frown at me while Daryl smirked.

"They are making chicken pot pie for dinner. Plus... you can shower." Shane winked at me. "They have clothes for us too."

"I got my own...." I shrugged, standing up and heading towards the house. Daryl followed me, stopping me at the steps, touching my arm. I turned around in suprise, relaxing when I saw it was him.

"Be safe." He told me and I nodded, my hand in his for just a moment as he looked into each others eyes.

"Come back, okay?" I asked and he nodded, squeezing my fingers and walking away. I was doing my best to not get attached to any of them but Daryl had a way of getting close to me. I told myself it was because he was Merles brother but I wasn't sure. I also didn't want to care for anyone. Not ever.

****************************

It was well after dark when they returned. I was sitting on the front porch, smoking a joint and staring into the world beyond. My hair was wet from the long shower I took and was hanging down on my shoulders, framing my face. Maggie gave me a black tank top and jeans while my clothes washed that I had been wearing. Shane gave me a nod and headed inside, Daryl sitting on the steps beside me and laid his head on my arm. He looked defeated. I handed him the joint and he took it willingly, smoking it for a while before flicking the end into the grass. My hand found his as we sat there, listening to the crickets for several minutes. I knew the didn't find her- the search becoming more futile each and every day. I could hear Carol crying in the distance and it made me cringe.

"You ok?" I asked softly and he nodded, wiping his eyes with his free hand.

"We found her doll." He muttered, sighing deeply. "I uhh... I don't..."

"I know." I told him, squeezing his calloused hand. "I know."

Glenn came running from the barn, quietly arguing with Maggie who followed behind him. We watched them for a few minutes before they took off in his tent after seeing us sitting there.

"Shower huh?" He asked and I nodded. "I'm gonna check it out." He let go of my hand, studying me for a few moments before standing up. "I'll be back soon." I nodded as he disappeared into the house, my hand feeling cold from our disconnection.

"Theres walkers locked up in the barn." Glenn whispered to me as he approached, my eyes wide with suprise. "Maggie told me not to tell. Don't tell." I sighed, watching as Maggie approached, looking angry. Glenn spotted her and took off into the house.

"What's he saying?" She asked me and I smirked.

"Told me bout your trip.." I told her, frown on her face more defined. "He likes you, ya know?"

"We uhh.... in the pharmacy..." she smirked, her face softening. "I like him too." Relief was washed over her face as she headed inside. Just another problem that had to be handled, but it could wait till morning. I stood up, walking to the camp and checked on Carol- who was finally asleep clutching her daughters doll tightly in her arms, Ki asleep beside her. I covered her with a blanket, leaving the RV and shutting the door. Daryl approached me as I went to my tent, frowning at me.

"You going to bed?" He asked and I nodded, crawling inside and holding open the flimsy door. He stood for a minute awkwardly, seeming to weigh the pros and cons before nodding, joining me inside. He laid down on the thin mattress and I laid beside him on my side, my hand resting on his arm.

"Can you stay with me tonight- after I say something?" I asked him and he nodded silently, frowning at me. "Theres uhh.... Glenn said there's walkers locked up in the barn." I whispered and I felt his muscles tense as he studied my face. "I gotta tell Shane in the morning. I just... I need sleep."

"Can they get out?" He asked and I shook my head. We had done several sweeps and never even heard them. "Morning then." He sighed, wrapping an arm around me as I curled into him. He smelled clean, and it felt good to have this human contact. I wanted this. I needed this. I deserved this.

No words were exchanged as I pulled myself into him, my lips finding his softly. He didn't kiss me back- but didn't stop me either as I kissed him again. He pulled his head back, frowning as I looked into his eyes- silently pleading with him in the dark tent.

"We can't." He whispered and I frowned, not understanding.

"Why?" I asked him as he loosened his grip on my body a bit.

"We can't." He repeated as I felt tears fall down my face. "Sleep. Shh.." he whispered, rubbing my back as I laid there rejected.

"One kiss." I pleaded as he sighed, placing his fingers under my chin, kissing me softly for several seconds.

"Sleep Britt." He told me again as I nodded, closing my eyes and holding him close.

I fell asleep almost immediately, way more tired than I thought. In the middle of the night I awoke, Daryl moving my hair out of my face and talking softly as I slept. I thought about opening my eyes but something felt different. So I laid there and listened- knowing I wasn't supposed to hear.

".... and I can't stop myself from watching you.... Protecting you. I promised Merle I would keep you safe....... this world is unfair. I'm sorry I can't give you more than this...."

He kissed my forehead and held me close, his fingers carelessly rubbing my back. He laid there for a long time as we both fell back to sleep.

In the morning I woke him up, running my fingers thru his short hair. He held me close for a few seconds before opening his eyes, studying me. From his one sided conversation last night I knew where we stood and he was absolutely right. I would take what I could get. I was desperate for an escape.

"Good morning."

"Is it?" He croaked and I nodded. "Gonna go talk to Shane?"

"Well... I'm hoping Glenn does but yeah. Imma go handle it."

"I'm coming with you."

"Okay." I nodded, getting up and breathing in the outside air as I watched him get out and join me. Glenn walked up to me immediately with a look of shock on his face, seeing us together.

"I told Shane." He muttered, frowning at me. "He's trying to open the barn. Hershel is losing it. Help." He was talking really fast and seemed more than upset as he pointed down the field. Daryl grabbed a shotgun and took off running, Glenn and I behind him, handguns drawn.

Everyone was already down there, Hershel and his family crying as Shane took a large pick axe and busted the lock, opening the doors and banging on them before stepping back. Walkers leaked out two and three at a time while we all shot, dropping them one by one till it ended. Shane turned to face Hershel when we all heard another- groaning and shuffling as it made its way out the door.

"Sophia!" Carol screamed, running from the back of the group towards her daughter- being grabbed and held by Daryl as she cried. We all looked at one another in shock- unable to react to the situation as she walked slowly closer and closer. Lori was holding Carl as he cried as well, the Greene family staring at shock as Sophia got even closer. Shane pulled out his handgun once more and approached her, looking to Carol and apologizing before shooting her daughter in the head.


	6. Post Death Wail

The sounds Carol gave off when Sophia was shot were downright terrifying. She howled in pain for hours while holding her dead daughter- and lost it even worse when they took her body for burial. I sat with her while they laid her to rest, her head in my lap, tears running down my face as she cried.

By nightfall she had stopped and we were sitting out by her grave, chain smoking cigarettes and talking about before times. She told me about her abusive ex husband and I told her about mine. I confided in her what happened to my own daughter and how Mark got what he deserved. I learned she and I had a lot in common and could become close if we continued to spend time together.

Andrea and Lori came out and sat with us- sharing their stories as we passed around a bottle of tequila. I noticed Lori was drinking, so I assumed the pills did the trick. Andrea made some comments about Shane teaching her to use a gun, Dale teaching her how to fix an RV. She was a civil rights lawyer back in Atlanta before but admitted to having no real life experience.

"You girls gonna sit out here all night?" Dale asked and we all nodded, knowing this party would go on till Carol was ready to quit. "After the shooting today I really don't think its smart for you to...."

"Dale. Go to bed. When Daryl, Shane and Glenn get back we will call it a night." Andrea told him and he sighed, walking away.

"Where did Shane go?" I asked and Lori rolled her eyes, taking a swig of the bottle.

"Shane found out about the abortion pills and went with Daryl and Glenn to bring Hershel back."

"Abortion pills?!" I asked and she sighed loudly.

"Glenn told everyone." She muttered and I looked around as they all nodded.

"Did you take them?" Carol asked and Lori nodded. "Probably for the best."

"Yeah...." Lori mumbled, fiddling with the label.

Another hour passed before the truck came down the drive and I got up, saying goodbye to everyone and heading towards the guys. It was hard for me to have female friends. I have bonded with Carol but Andrea and Lori just seemed so weak.... as if any of their current toughness was just an act, despite them trying to learn.

Shane and Hershel were holding up Daryll as he groaned in pain, Glenn behind them in a panic. "He got shot." Shane yelled to me as he saw me approaching. I felt my heart racing as I glanced inside the vechile and saw all the blood, my fear rising and I ran into the house.

No.  
Not now.

He tried to say goodbye to me before he left but I ignored him. I just couldn't. I knew he was struggling with Sophia's death but I was holding it together for Carol and I couldn't fall apart. Not at that time. And now... I might never get to hold him again. Have a simple moment with him again. He meant so much to me in this short amount of time and now he was going to die.

"He's losing a lot of blood. Any of you a universal doner?" Hershel asked and I nodded.

"I'm O Negative." I told him and he nodded.

"I gotta get these bullets out and he's gonna need blood. Take a seat."

The bullets were removed fairly quickly as he passed out from the pain and I held his hand tightly with my free arm while they took my blood with the other. I was thankful I hadn't drank very much- not enough to even get a buzz. The blood made me dizzy and after a while I passed out- hoping he would live another day.

********************

When I woke up Daryl was groaning, trying to sit up in the bed. I stood and instantly collapsed, my legs not able to hold me up. He jumped out of bed, groaning and helping me up, pulling me onto the bed beside him. We both laid down, my arm on his bare stomach as he kissed my forehead.

"I thought I lost you." I told him, my voice low, like a light breeze. I could feel tears of relief in my eyes as I felt his heart beating.

"Not gonna happen." He muttered, holding me close. "I made two promises to Merle. I plan to keep em."

"And that was?" I asked and he grunted a bit, running his hand thru my hair.

"Don't die. Protect Britt."

I looked up into his eyes and leaned up, kissing his lips briefly. He kissed me back and that was enough. It was all we could give each other. We couldn't risk falling in love in this world.

"You scared me." I confessed, my eyes heavy as another wave of tiredness hit me. "You really scared me."

"I'm here Britt. I'm here."

**************************

Maggie came in the room after the sun went down and invited us to dinner. Hershel had been in and out all day- giving Daryl pain medication and making sure I drank and ate little things so my body could replenish the blood it lost. Daryl didn't wake up but I carefully forced myself out of bed- following her downstairs. Everyone was sitting around the giant table- tossed salad, spaghetti and buttered bread served.

"How are you feeling?" Carol asked me as I sat beside her and I smiled.

"I'm pretty good. Better than this morning." I shrugged, filling them in on my collapse.

"I looked in on you earlier- you and Daryl were fast asleep in the bed." Lori told me, alerting everyone who didn't already know how close we were. Every time I thought she was a decent person she pulled slimy girl shit like this.

I ate quickly, making small talk with everyone before excusing myself and taking a plate up to Daryl. He was already sitting up in the bed when I returned- smirking at me as I walked into the room.

"This is spaghetti." He mumbled, tearing thru it like it was going to disappear. "I never thought I would miss my worst meal."

"I miss slushies." I commented, sitting on the chair beside the bed. "And Burger King chicken sandwiches."

"Playing pool in a sleazy bar." He added and I nodded, chuckling.

"Jello shots."

"Shitty daytime TV game shows."

"Yeah.... especially when I didn't feel good. It just hit different."

"You seem like a price is right kind of person." He laughed. "You realize this might be the last time we eat pasta?"

"Tomorrow we are back to squirrel huh?"

"Ya never know..." his smile fading, his brain seemingly deep in thought again. "Hows Carol?"

"She's grieving.... but she's okay."

"I need to get out of this room." He muttered, frowning. "I feel like I'm in a cage."

"Hershel said one more night- minimum."

"You going back out there?" He asked and I shrugged.

"You want me to stay here?"

"Not if you don't wanna."

"I wanna stay."

I felt vulnerable saying that out loud, like I was standing naked in front of him.... like he could see my organs and knew just how to hurt me. I hoped that I could stay away from him but I knew I was incapable. We didn't talk as he slid over in the bed and waited for me. I took off my boots, peeled off my jeans and crawled into bed beside him, pulling the blanket over the both of us. I was careful with his left shoulder where the bullets were as I tucked him in. I just hoped that everyone else was having one more peaceful night like we were.


	7. Scars

Daryls P.O.V.

I woke up in pain, doing my best to stop from crying out in pain. I didn't want to disturb Britt. I adjusted myself the best I could, pulling the blanket back up- over us both. The chances of us ever sleeping in a bed together again.... to eat with silverware, use plumbing.... we would be fools to think this would last.

She wasn't what I thought she was at first glance. I completely judged her on her looks- like G.I. barbie with a crossbow. But the more I get to know her.... the more she opens up to me... she is as deeply fucked up as I am. Before the world went stupid her and I could of..... hell. Who am I kidding? It wasn't that I didn't have urges.. I just didn't want to get close to anyone. Britt was breaking down my barriers- at a time when I couldn't afford to worry about someone else.

At the same time when I got shot- she was my only concern. I just wanted to see her one more time. I told myself constantly to avoid her- dont let myself fall into this.... then she stays.

When she took off her jeans I saw the scars. And when I rub her back i feel the scars. Knives? Whip? Long and thin that covered where people can't see. And I knew... there was no going back. I was too far in. So now- she needs to live and I vowed to protect her. As I laid here- holding this beautiful bombshell- I knew I was in trouble but she was worth it. I just couldn't tell her. I couldn't let her get too involved with me. I closed my eyes as I felt her stir, hoping for just a few more moments with her.

*************************

Brittany's P.O.V.

When I woke up, Daryl was fast asleep. I watched him for a few minutes, kissing his lips softly and ran my fingers down his neck- stopping to feel his heart beating.

"I'm so fucking glad you're okay." I whispered, pulling myself out of bed. I smiled at my clean clothes sitting on the dresser by my boots. I looked back to see Daryl still fast asleep and I turned my back to him, pulling off the clothes I was in, pulling my camo khakis and a black sports bra as well as a black tank top and long sleeve shirt. Socks on my feet and boots before going into the bathroom and washing my face, pushing my hair up in a ponytail to get it off my neck. I took out my wedding ring and Marks from my pocket, throwing them in the trash. After talking with Carol last night I was more empowered than ever to move on.

In the room the bed was empty and I smiled, knowing he was really, truly doing okay. I went downstairs and grabbed a cup of coffee from Lori, who was serving while Shane was making breakfast of bacon and eggs for everyone. Lori seemed friendlier this morning and as we all chatted and joked like old friends I felt a sense of belonging to this group of people, all tied together by tragedy. Hershel seemed in high spirits as we ate- everyone slowly making their way inside but Daryl. My thoughts immediately were clouded by him and I wondered what he was doing at this moment. I hated that I missed him. I didn't want to. But there it was- my missing him. It was dangerous to care about him- I had myself to worry about.

"Thanks for breakfast." I sincerely said as I cleaned up my dish and headed outside to smoke for the first time in two days. I was craving that nicotine and knew I might, if I was lucky, have about three packs left. Who knows when I would be able to get more.

Carol joined me on the steps outside as we smoked, joking and laughing as we spent time together. We were growing closer and I was happy to bond with her- she was stronger than I gave her credit for.

"Daryl moved his tent this morning. Out to the field. He doing okay?" She asked me and I shrugged. I didn't know anything about it. "I'm gonna go check on him. Bring him some food." I nodded, glad she was looking out for him as well. Patting my shoulder she stood up and gave me a smile before heading inside.

Lori came out, sitting where Carol was and sighing deeply. I knew she was going thru a lot of her own shit- but I also kind of hated her presence.

"I threw up the pills. I told Shane. I'm pregnant." She sighed, tossing her long dark hair back on her head. "I'm fucking crazy right?"

"You aren't. Lori.... you aren't." I sighed, grabbing her hand. "We will figure it out. One giant fucked up family." She smiled, shaking her head.

"Aunt Britt." She joked and I nodded as Andrea and Maggie joined us outside. "You have any siblings?"

"My dad was a general so I was a military brat. My mom had me and died a few months later. He never remarried."

"I bet you were hell as a teenager." She joked and I nodded.

"Military school. Then I enlisted. My dad chose my husband. Captain on the local police department in Atlanta. Got me pregnant. Made me a woman."

"So he was the only one you ever...." she asked with suprise and I nodded. It wasn't true, by any means, but it was all I was willing to share.

"I'm gonna check on Ki. Do a security check." I told them, standing up.

"I'll come with you." Lori said, standing up and following me into the grass.

We talked about movies, music and things to do before and how much we would miss them. She talked about being pregnant and what that would mean for the group when the baby came. I could tell she was nervous- but she made her decision.

"Ya know.... Shane is Carls real dad. I got pregnant just before Rick came into the picture. He doesn't know. Rick never knew." She confessed and I nodded. I wasn't about to understand how that mess would unfold.

"Ever gonna tell him?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Never told anybody before. 'Cept my momma. She's with God now."

"He's gonna be a great dad. Little hot headed.... but he's done right by all of us."

"Yeah." She agreed, smiling at me. I spotted Carol over by Daryls new location and smiled as she waved at me. She was trying to crack that barrier but he didn't look to be in any mood. I considered going over there but I had to hold back. I had to be smart. I had to stay away. 

"Lets get back. I told Shane I would help him with some things." I told Lori and she nodded, following me back towards the house. It was so peaceful here- I just hope it stayed that way.

************************

It was itching towards midnight when I saw Daryl again. I spent the day with Maggie and Carol riding horses and joking around- finding ways to fit in. I was walking out towards the lake, smoking a joint and throwing a stick for Ki when he approached, pulling me into a hug, kissing me on the forehead when he let go.

"Sorry." He muttered and even though I was pretty sure why he was apologizing, I still asked- not wanting to make assumptions.

"For?"

"I dunno. Taking off i guess. I just..... I needed time."

"And now...?"

"I dunno."

"You thinking of leaving?" I asked and he nodded, biting his lip and looking away. "You gonna?"

"I want to."

"What's stopping you?" I questioned him and he frowned, looking at me- studying my face under the moonlight.

"I made a promise."

"Daryl." I gasped, my hand touching his face softly as he closed his eyes, his cheek leaning into my touch. "Don't stay for me."

His eyes opened, his lips on mine as he pulled me to him for several seconds. As the kiss ended he laid his forehead against my own breathing deeply.

"I can't lea...."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The scream made us jump- the moment gone as we ran towards the yell. My adrenaline pumping as we ran to camp, seeing a dead ripping into Dale, Andrea jamming a knife into the skull of the attacker. We all worked to stop the bleeding but once Hershel arrived he told everyone it was a lost cause. Shanes arm shook as he pulled his gun, tears in his eyes. Daryl sighed, taking the gun as Dale nodded, pulling the trigger and ending his suffering.


	8. Burning

I awoke with a start later that night as I slept on the sofa in the living room. After Dale was shot I went with Glenn and the girls back to the house while the men made a perimeter sweep to ensure everything was safe. Andrea was a complete mess. She kept crying and throwing up, talking of suicide till she fell asleep. The losses we have endured- Dale was just too much for her and she was broken. I promised her over and over I would keep her safe. I swore and I meant it.

Maggie stood above me, fear in her eyes.

"What's going on?"

I made it to the front door, glancing over at Maggie's petrified expression. She stared out the door and then pointed, mute, across the yard.

"The barn's on fire." she breathed

And then I saw it, all of it. The burning barn, the darkness closing in on everything, and the walkers, hundreds of walkers. Something caught painfully in my chest as we stood there, side by side, watching the world we thought was safe come crashing down around us.

"Where's Shane? Carl?" Lori was pushing towards the front door, stepping out onto the porch

"They're not back yet?" Maggie asked, her expression more perturbed if that was possible

"I haven't seen them." Lori breathed

"We'll find them." I assured her, though I had no idea what would happen. A thought of Daryl passed thru my mind but I dismissed it. I didn't have time to myself right now. We are all going to die if we don't do something.

Everyone was awake now, pushing towards the front door. Andrea had found the stock of weapons and was passing them out, getting ready. But it was too late. Any hope of defending the farm had died when the walkers had broken through the gates.

"We have to go." I pushed, getting through the door

Ki was by my side, Andrea's hand grasping the back of my shirt, her eyes wide and reflecting the flames from the barn.

"Let's go."

We all managed to away from the porch but all hell broke loose after that. The group split apart almost immediately as we ran towards the cars on the side of the house. I could only focus on Anndrea's hand on the back of my shirt and the walkers in front of me.

I took out a few, slicing arrows into their heads, and dodged to get away from the rest, running. I went to reach back, to pull Andrea onto my back and move faster, but her fingers unlatched and I grabbed nothing but air.

"Andrea?"

My voice was quiet at first as I turned around completely, searching for her. She had just been there. It had been moments, seconds. My heart was thumping, my face and neck hot, burning. Where was she?

Ki was beside me, watching me. I stumbled back towards the house, my eyes wide, searching. I was going the same way we had gone, she had to be here. She had to.

"Andrea!!!"

I was screaming now, her name ripped from my throat. The noise attracted the walkers, brought them to me, but I didn't care. I scrambled to the front porch, slamming through the front door. Maybe she'd made it inside. Maybe she was hiding.

But the house was silent.

"Andrea!" I screamed again, shoving furniture to the side, "Andrea! Please come out!"

Tears I didn't know I was crying fell down my cheeks. Ki was at my side, barking, turning towards the walkers that were pouring in through the front door and growling at them. I shoved my way through the kitchen to the backdoor, stumbling out into the yard again.

"Andrea!"

My voice was hoarse but I couldn't stop. I forced myself to scream, my stomach clenching tight. Andrea wasn't here. She wasn't here. My hands were shaking as I looked in every direction, turning around and around.

She was gone.

A walker from the field in front of me barreled closer and closer and then knocked me down, going for my throat. I kicked, clawed, twisted to get it away. Ki bit at it's leg, pulling until the entire leg torn away from the hip bone. Finally, I shoved it away enough to grab a knife and plunge it into it's forehead.

I managed to stand, stumbling slightly. My head felt heavy and my legs refused to work. Was I going to pass out?

"Andrea." I mumbled it, stumbling forward and landing on my knees in the grass as Ki barked at the oncoming walkers

"Britt?"

I barely registered that someone was calling my name. And then I heard the car, the headlights blinding me for a moment. The doors opened, I could hear them, and someone was grabbing me roughly by my shoulders, dragging me into the back.

There was nothing to say. Ki jumped into the back with me, lying down with his head in my lap and whining as the car sped through the devestated farm. I hiccuped, registering that Shane and Carl were the only two in the car with me.

Shane glanced back once, probably saw the blood and tears across my face, but didn't say anything. He focused hard on driving, on pressing on away from the farm. I didn't know where we were going, I didn't care. Andrea was gone.

And that's when I thought about Daryl again. Did he make it? Another painful twist in my chest and more tears. I cuddled up to Ki, pressing my face against his back, and cried. It seemed like I cried for hours, silent and sore in the back of the car. I was all alone again.

Shane drove to the highway and by the time we got there I felt numb. My body refused to work, refused to do what it was supposed to do in order to survive. I didn't care anymore. What was left?

"D-Do you know if…if anyone…"

Shane shook his head, silent. His jaw was clenched, like the same thoughts that had gone through my mind were going through his. Lori could be dead too.

He pulled up to the highway but there were walkers around there too. It was hopeless, everything was so god damn hopeless. Shane pulled me out of the back of the car, made me follow along with Ki at my heels. He seemed downtrodden too, following along with a slight limp.

"We're fucked." I mumbled as walkers passed by a few feet away, stumbling towards what I guessed was the farm

"We have to figure something out." Shane retorted, frowning

I stared off at nothing in particular in return, leaning hard against a van. Shane sighed, running his fingers over his head and glancing around. Carl was staring up at him with wide eyes, watching him carefully.

"If anyone else made it…they'd come here. We agreed…"

But he was cut off by an engine. My curiosity slowly overtook my own misery and I glanced across the road to see Maggie and Glenn and Hershel. I guess it should have made me happy to see that my friends were all right, but I felt like I was stuck in a bubble, miserable and sick to my stomach.

They quickly walked over to join us, glancing around. It was clear that they thought more people would be here. But here we were. Only six of us left.

And then another engine, another moment of holding my breath. T-Dog, Lori and Carol drove on slowly through the parked cars. Shane ran to her, threw his arms around her and pulled her close as Carl quickly followed after. I turned away from the group and threw up on the side of the road.

"You okay, Britt?"

It was Glenn, coming to check on me, his hand on my back. I nodded, brushing the tears away. He nodded slightly, hanging his head and retreating back to Maggie. It was obvious that Andrea wasn't here. More obvious that Daryl wasn't.

I threw up again, heaving acidic bile into the grass and shuddering. My entire body wanted to give out, I just wanted to sleep. Sleep forever.

And then I heard it.


	9. Roaring

I heard it.

At first I thought I was hallucinating but it roared, louder and closer as my heart pounded in my chest. That damn loud engine of the motorcycle that somehow comforted me. I stood up, wiping my mouth on my shirt and started walking towards the noise like I was in a trance, moving past people as I finally saw Daryl, getting off the damn bike. I stopped, staring at him as the engine cut off and he stood- scanning the area- looking for something.

My heart pounded as I started walking again, faster and faster till I was sprinting towards him. I could see the relief wash over his face as he saw me- heading towards me as well. I jumped into his arms- tears running down my face as we kissed- not caring who was around or what they thought.

He was alive.  
He was really, truly alive.

He put me down but didn't let me go as he held me tightly, kissing my forehead as I held him and cried for several minutes- burying my face in his chest. I knew in this moment I needed him more than I cared to admit.

"Everyone's staring." He mumbled into my ear as I laughed, pulling away from him slightly, looking into his tear stained eyes. "I'm so fucking glad you're alive."

"I thought..." I tried to speak but I stopped as tears started again.

"I'm not leaving you behind. Okay?" He asked and I nodded as the rest of the group began approaching.

"Did anyone see Andrea?" I asked and everyone shook their heads. We lost so much- now we were down another person. We were lucky this many survived.

As we all spoke, Daryl kept his hand firmly in my own and it grounded me. I didn't know if I would of survived without him and now that I had him back I silently vowed to never let him go. We decided to travel back roads and avoid the hoarde as long as we could. I rode with Daryl, everyone else split in the three vechiles left. Carl kept Ki for me, tending to his injured paw from the night before.

We drove till night fall- stopping to rest for a night on the side of the road, down by the river. Drivers slept while the rest stood guard. Glenn told me about the night they rescued Hershel- and how Shane slit the throats of the shooters- only to see them come back as the dead. It reminded me of the time Daryl and I went looking for Sophia and we came across a suicide- where the dead was very much not dead- just hanging and growling. It was the general consensus that if we die- we come back as those things. We are all somehow infected.

In the morning we checked the area on foot while foraging for food- stumbling what could be our salvation. We needed a place with walls and this one had tons of them.

A prison.

Shane, Carol, Daryl and I cleared out the field and secured the inside, then went about getting the group in and retrieving the vechiles. It took the whole day but everyone seemed a lot happier now that they were behind walls again.

"We need three teams. One need to scout the surrounding area. One needs to stand watch here while the third needs to clear the walkers out of the surrounding cell blocks." Shane announced at the night-time meeting.

"I'll scout." I said and Shane frowned at Daryl, then at me before nodding.

"You're with Daryl then." He told me, frown still on his face.

"Maggie and I will stand watch." Glenn offered and Shane nodded in approval.

"Listen. That means T-Dog and I will be clearing cell blocks. Anyone who wants to help, help. Carl will stand guard inside this block. When teams aren't available- Carl holds down the fort."

I dismissed myself, going outside and lighting a cigarette. Hershel followed me, sitting down in the gravel up against the wall as I did.

"You look like my daughter." He told me and I frowned. Maggie and I looked nothing alike. "Beth. You look just like her. She was killed by a walker same day Otis shot Carl. I'm sorry I haven't tried to get to know you. Its like I seen a ghost."

"It's okay. I stay to myself anyway." I told him, standing up.

"....Maggie loves you. And the group, they keep saying how valuable you are....."

I ignored him as he went back inside and Maggie came out, scowl on her face as she muttered profanities. I looked at her questionably but said nothing as she paced, disappearing around the corner. Glenn followed her outside and disappeared around the corner. I could make out that she was arguing with him, but not what was being said.

Carol came out a few minutes later, approaching me softly, hand on my arm. "Shane wants you and Maggie to take a pregnancy test." She whispered, her face one of concern. "He wants to know if you're...."

"I'm not."

"You could just take a test...."

"I'm not."

She sighed- studying me for a few minutes as Daryl came outside, frown on his face as well. Him and I exchanged looks as we all stood there smoking, slightly hating everything.

"Are you gonna pee on the stick?" She asked again and Daryl scoffed, looking at us with annoyance.

"She's not." He said quietly, Carol throwing her hands up- walking back inside. I relaxed a bit now that it was him and I. He smirked a bit, approaching me and sitting beside me against the wall.

"Nothing like the whole group getting to know we haven't had sex." I joked dryly, laying my head on his arm. "Glad you all have survived- welcome to level six. Pee on the stick."

"We aren't careless." He muttered. "I wouldn't want to risk it."

"Well.... I had a hysterectomy three years ago. So getting pregnant is impossible unless my body spontaneously grows a new uterus."

"Seriously?" He asked and I nodded. "Well.... that uhh...."

"Makes it less risky." I answered and he nodded. "Good information to have?"

"Little bit..." he chuckled, wrapping an arm around my back. "Com'on, let's get some sleep. Need to get out early tomorrow. I need cigarettes."

"I hope they are on sale!" I joked, standing up and following him inside to get some much needed sleep.


	10. Sale Barn

The sun was barely up in the sky when we left in Shane's car the next morning and it was already sweltering. The heat beating down on us as Daryl drove thru empty streets- air blowing on us as we flew. It was like our own deserted world, aside from the walkers who we passed as we went. The radio was static but we found some cds and cranked the music, smoking cigarettes as I watched him drive, smirking as I enjoyed the wind in my face. We pulled into a gas station, both focused on finding food and cigarettes if we could. I was feeling really good today after our talk last night and excited to get some things done today.

"How was your night?" He asked as I got out of the car, pulling my knifes out for murdering more dead ones.

"I was up most of it with Lori and Carl. The walker who bit Dale... Carl found him that afternoon and didn't kill him. He's blaming himself for all of it. The shot you gave Dale likely brought the herd."

"Nah. It's not on him."

"I know."

"He's just a kid."

"I know."

"Least we don't gotta worry bout that, huh?" He asked with a small smirk and I smiled at him as I banged on the door to drawl any of the dead towards us.

Daryl was so hard to figure out. He spends a night with me then moves away for a day... kisses me then the world goes to hell now we are what? Together? I didn't know and it was exhausting to try and figure it out. Honestly, this day in age did it really matter? Two walkers smacked against the doors and i took them out thru the broken glass. I pulled the door open and they fell to the pavement in a sickening smack.

"Guess your a knockout..." he smirked again and I shook my head, following him inside the store, banging on things to make sure there was no surprises. Once clear I grabbed a bag of chips and opened them- eating a huge handful at once.

"Oh... god.... so... good...." I moaned after swallowing. I grabbed as much food as I could, piling it up in milk crates and placing it by the door so we could transport it. "You find anything good?"

"Yeah like forty cartons of cigarettes. Lighters... knives... tons of stuff for Ki.... Lets get this stuff back and then head to the store on the other side of prison. Might make out well twice today."

"Making out today huh?"

"Mmhmm.."

I stifled a laugh as we grabbed the crates and headed to the car. I was so fucking happy, despite all the shit that had been going on- today was a great day. On our final trip loading the crates I saw them.

The dead.

There was only a few on our first two trips but this time there was more than a dozen and much closer than before. They seemed to be pouring out of the woods behind the store. Daryl killed a few while I slammed the trunk and we ran back into the store. Pulling down the security gate and barricating the gate with shelves we shoved up against it. Once we rechecked to make sure we were secure we sat down on the floor, laughing. We were almost done for. Completely done for.

"Escaped death once more." I joked, laughing as he nodded breathlessly.

"Guess nows a good a time as any." He muttered, pulling something out of his pocket and holding it out to me. It was a thick silver necklace with a silver ring on it. I took it carefully in my fingers, admiring the black stones in the ring. I slipped it over my head- smiling at him. "Cause we're together or whatever.... 'cause I uhh.... 'ya know."

"Thank you." I whispered, crawling into his lap and straddling him, kissing him deeply as he rested his hands on my hips. "It's perfect."

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm..." I smirked, kissing him again.

We made out for a long time, slowly touching and kissing and pushing each others boundaries. There was no need to rush, no desire to push things too hard too fast. We were happy and together. It made all the difference in the world to me.

"Wanna have some dinner?" I asked and he nodded. We were both getting pretty PG-13 but kept our clothes on. It was bizarre how this man could make me feel better than anyone else ever before. I got up, ignoring the large bulge in his pants, and walked over to the shelves. "We have uhh... beef jerky and orange soda? Stale tasty cakes for dessert." Laughing, he nodded as I sat down beside him.

"You're too good to me babe." He winked, kissing my cheek. We ate in comfortable silence, the walkers growls louder than the crickets outside. "That was werid right? Me calling you babe?"

"Yep. Pretty fucking awkward...." I looked at him, scrunching up my nose at him. "Kinda like Merle calling me Dandillon."

"Why did he call you that?"

I laughed, rolling my eyes and smirking at him. "I wouldn't die. I was a weed."

"Asshole." He smirked, lighting a cigarette and handing it to me. "Last one. Make it count."

"Gonna be stuck here till morning or more I'm sure." I shrugged, handing it back to him. "What to do... what to do...."

"Can't think of a thing..." he mumbled, his face turning red. I played with the ring on my necklace as I smiled at him with my eyebrows raised.

"I got that chain from Dale. The ring I found in one of the cars back on the highway. Been wanting to give it to you. Shit keeps happening."

"I love it." I whispered, watching him put the cigarette out. It was nearly dark as we sat there looking at one another. "I'm not uhh.. good with this stuff."

"You were married."

"Yeah. By a guy my dad made me marry and we all know how that went. This is.... you are.... I am....." I tripped over my words, unable to get them out. But as I sat in front of him he nodded, seeming to understand me completely.

"This is a hell of a time to find someone worth living for, huh?" He asked and I nodded. "Just gotta enjoy moments like this when we can I guess."

Seemingly, the decision was made. He pulled me to him, back on his lap as our lips connected. His hands, braver than before traveled down my body. Our clothes came off slowly, as darkness overtook the building and our bodies began to do what they were designed to do- us both quietly crying out as we became one.

****************

The store was bright again when I awoke on my stomach laying on our makeshift bed of clothing. I could feel him kissing my skin as he ran his fingers down my back. I thought about all the scars and for a moment panicked- but he had already seen it plenty. Still, my body tensed at his touch.

"Morning." I groaned softly. "Did you order room service yet?"

"Coffee will be here any second." He whispered, kissing my skin again. "Can I ask..."

"My dad. Every time I denied him."

"Switch?"

"Yup." I sighed, rolling over to face him. "Yours?" I ran my fingers over his skin, where circle scars and little lines covered him.

"Cigarettes and an unforgiving belt buckle."

And just like that we were bonded on a whole other level. There was a secret club for people like us. People who grew up in tragedy. People who only knew pain. This club... this stupid little secret club... we were a bunch of non-trusting, non-social, non-forgiving people who bled to protect people who weren't like us.

We got dressed, looking outside to see only a few dead still around. Something had of driven them off in the night. The car was still there, which meant we could kill the dead quickly and head back to the group. Part of me couldn't wait to see everyone. The rest of me didn't want to leave.

"Ready?" He asked and I nodded, pulling out my weapons as we carefully got the shelf moved and lifting the security gate. The goal was to make as little noise as possible- so we could get to the car and leave. We walked slowly and quickly, knifing the three in our path. We jumped in the car and slammed the door, breathing a sigh of relief. I started the engine and took off, seeing three more on the side of the building and traveled back towards our people with his hand in mine.

Shane was relieved to see us when we returned, hugging us both tightly. We told him all about what we had went thru as we carried the supplies inside. He introduced us to three prisoners Carl had found while exploring the night before, saying our hellos and excusing ourselves, stepping back outside.

"Where ya going?"

"'Nother run. Gotta keep getting supplies."

"Take the day. You two earned it. There will be plenty to do tomorrow." Shane insisted. "Come on back in. Relax."

We exchanged looks before agreeing, heading back inside. Carol and Lori filled me in on all the latest group gossip while I sat around with them- watching Daryl across the room show Carl how to hold his crossbow.

"Girl are you even listening?" Lori asked me and I shook my head.

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

"Maggie and Glenn aren't pregnant. So its just me. Shane's so worried."

"You're gonna be fine." I told her, squeezing her hand. "Really."

My placading seemed to satisfy her as she walked off, leaving Carol and I alone. She looked back at Daryl for several seconds, smirking as she looked at me. "He seems awfully happy this morning."

"Yeah? I hadn't noticed."

"Sure. Were there really walkers or did you two take your honeymoon?" She asked, pointing to my ring I was playing with.

"There were walkers!" I exclaimed with a smile but I could feel myself blushing. "There were!"

"I told him you would love it." She whispered, winking at me as she got up and went outside, shooting Daryl a thumbs up as she passed. We both exchanged a smile- knowing all we had were moments. And last night was a good one.


	11. Catch Up

Daryls P.O.V

Its been six months since we made the prison our base of operations. I didn't stick around it much- mostly been scouting for supplies and people. We had a dozen or so survivors join us- two cell blocks making up our group. Lori's about to pop and we were heading west to scavenge for baby items and formula. Hershel gave her a clean bill of health for the little hellion but Shane and Lori were still up in arms over the whole damn thing. I was sitting on the trunk of the car, smoking a cigarette and watching Carl and T-Dog feed the cows, pigs and horses. Shit. Carol, Lori and Maggie even started crops of food. Regular ol' farm out here in prison land. They had the inside all done up like dorm rooms- showers and running water. It was like they forgot what was out beyond this ten foot cinderblock wall they built.

Shane came out occasionally, some of the others too when an assist was needed. But for the most part it was just Britt and I. Not that we minded. Honestly, it was just better off. Fucking barbie was a good shot, deadly with a knife and great on her feet. I loved watching her directly after a kill- blood splattered on her face, her lips slightly parted as she caught her breath.... those bright blue eyes looking to me to make sure my ass was okay. I never really got the whole relationship thing and I still didn't. We don't have never ending constant arguments like Shane and Lori nor are we a love sick romantic comedy couple like Maggie and Glenn. As Britt always puts it... we just fucking work together.

And she was right.

"Dixon." She smirked, hopping up beside me and taking a cigarette out of the pack, sticking it between those lips of hers and lighting it as I watched. The smirk on her face as she exhaled that first cigarette of the day drove me nuts. "What?" She asked, her eyes shining in the sun.

"Nothing." I shook my head as she leaned over and kissed me softly, leaving me wanting more. Her hair was still wet from the shower and she smelled really good. "You smell like peaches."

"Probally cause I just took a shower and used the soap Carol made me. It does smell really good, doesn't it?" She asked, holding out her arm for me to sniff. "Shane coming with us?"

"And Maggie. And Glenn."

"Cool. We get to babysit."

"While getting baby supplies." I added as she smirked again. "Nah. It won't be so bad. They all handled themselves well at the medical supply last month."

"I know." She mumbled, scrunching her face up at me. "Who knew you were such an optimist."

I chuckled at her as everyone came outside, loading up to leave.

"Ya'll promise me you will be back soon?" Lori asked and I nodded.

"Store is half hour from here. Its overrun but we set some traps yesterday- should be a pretty simple extraction."

"You take care of my husband." She told me with a wink and I nodded as she hugged Britt goodbye- walking off, rubbing her huge baby belly.

Carol was constantly on me about how good I was with the kids here- asking me if I wanted my own one day. It didn't make sense to her but I was honestly relieved if wasn't me. Then again... she stayed behind the walls. It seemed like every day we saw more than the day before. I used to keep a kill count but lost it somewhere in the hundreds.

We drove west, following Glenn's pickup with our car as we passed thru one small town after another. At camp Britt always seemed on edge but she had that look of peace on her face as I drove. She was so much like me- just wanted the quiet of the road. Finally, we pulled up in front of a large store, the sign on the roof reading 'Binkey Baby'. There were a few walkers in the parking lot that Britt and I took out with crossbows as we drove right up to the door, parking beside the truck and getting out.

"So what's the plan ya'll?" Maggie asked and Glenn shook his head at me, pleading for me to keep my mouth shut. Britt, on the other hand, didn't give half a shit.

"We already did it. We put the horse with the bad leg out back, banged on the back doors then opened them. We attached a speaker to his neck so when he ran, walkers followed. Waited a few hours. Closed it down and secured doors. Gonna be some inside but we should be ok."

You killed Charlie?!" She frowned, shoving Glenns arm as he grimaced in pain of retaliation. "I loved that horse!"

"He took one for the team Mags." Shane told her with a laugh. "Com'mon..."

Britt squeezed my hand briefly as we approached the door. I looked into those damn blue eyes and nodded. I know what she meant, and she knew what I meant.

Dont fucking die on me.

We didn't have to say it. We did this so often- we knew the risks every time we went into a situation. At the same time we both jumped at every chance to do it again and again. Some people thought we were crazy- but who the fuck cares.

Shane flung the doors open wide, walking inside the doorway and banging on the glass. The whole place smelled musty, like this old farmhouse that I used to squat in as a kid when I didn't want to go home. The smell of rot hung thick in the air, blowing past us as the Georgia wind pushed its way inside.

It was quiet.  
Too quiet.

Shane banged on the counters directly to the right. We all held our breath, waiting for the shuffling of the dead but heard nothing. Someone definitely tried to hold up here. The windows were poorly boarded up, the light here was scarse, the dust particles flickering in the low light. We all split up, checking areas as we went- nodding to each other.

Something didn't feel right.  
It was just so damn quiet.

Everyone was out of sight, only Shane was visible from where I was, ten feet in front of me. A loud bang of a gunshot echoed off the walls, I could hear Britt scream from the back of the store. Suddenly three people we didn't recognize came running from that direction. Shane took the shot, hitting one of them in the head. They dropped immediately, falling over in a heap. Maggie was screaming my name as I fired at the other two- hitting one in the lower back, another in the head.

Dropped.

Shane went after the one who was injured as I ran towards Maggie's voice. It got louder and louder as I ran- finding her hunched over Britt who was holding her right shoulder- her eyes shut tight and her face contorted in pain.

"They came outta nowhere. Fuck Daryl... I tried to stop em.." Maggie told me quietly, trying to lift her up on her own. "Getter back to my dad. I'll help the guys."

I nodded, lifting Britt up easily in my arms and carrying her quickly outside. We weren't gonna have time to get back to Hershel. She was bleeding pretty severely. I sat her on the hood of the car, tearing her shirt and looking at the wound. She was looking too, still holding her free arm around my neck.

"Get it out. Close the wound." She muttered, looking into my eyes. I moved her closer to me, looking for an exit wound and not seeing one. "Daryl. Get the fucking bullet out." She pleaded and I couldn't help but smirk. Fucking G.I. Barbie.

"This is gonna hurt..." I muttered and she nodded quickly, pulling her shirt up and biting down hard as I dug my fingers into the wound and felt around. She was moaning in pain as I plunged deeper into her arm, feeling the bullet but it was so slippery, it kept moving. "I.... I can't....." I struggled, pulling out and going in again... grabbing it and pulling it out slowly. My only thought was saving her. The blood was everywhere. I could hear the dead behind us moving closer. Glen and Maggie came out just as I pulled the bullet out- keeping the dead off my back while I saved Britt.

"You gotta close the wound!" Maggie hollared to me and I nodded, getting in the car for a moment and grabbing the gunpowder we keep for such an emergency. Britt nodded as I laid her back- pouring a small amount on the hole and pouring out a lighter. She grabbed my wrist- frowning at me.

"I love you." She told me with a small smile and I smirked.

"You too. Bite down." I smirked, holding up her shirt as she clamped down again and I lit the powder- her screams of pain taking over my eardrums.


	12. Camp

We were back at camp when I came to. Daryl was carrying me inside, concern plastered on his face. Hershel checked me out while Shane and Lori stood close by- demanding everyone stay at camp for a while. I simply agreed. Meeting living humans is always a real shit show for us. I was more angry than anything.

"Damn. You really did a number on her arm. You ok?" Hershel asked me and I nodded, watching as he cleaned the wound. "You did this?" He asked, looking to Daryl who nodded. Had I not been miserable i would have made a joke. Something about how we both use gestures more than words- but at this point I didn't care. "You probably saved her life. If this doesn't get infected you should be fine in a week or so." He frowned as he covered it with a bandage. "Promise you will rest?"

"Yeah. She'll rest. I'll see to it." Daryl answered for me, frowning at me as I stood up, Hershel leaving the area. "Imma go with Shane to question the dick that shot you. Won't be long. Lori, can you.."

"Yeah. Yeah. No worries. Go. I won't let her outta my sight." Lori spoke, putting a hand on my back as the men walked away.

"You don't gotta babysit me." I told her with a sigh. "I can't believe they brought that asshole back."

"Shane says he's clean. Clean shaved. No way they were living at the store. They got a place. Means more of them." She whispered as Carl approached, talking to his mom about the nursery set up.

I walked off so they could talk, stumbling a bit but steadying myself as I made my way outside. Carol gave me a small smile, waving me over and holding up a cigarette for me. I went and ploped down next to her with a sigh.

"You look like shit." She smirked, holding up my blood stained hair. "New look you're going for?"

"Eh. I gotta go shower. Get some clothes. Been busy feeling like crap. It's almost like I got shot." I chuckled.

"Want some help with it?"

"Nah. I'll be alright. Thanks tho."

"Go on then. You're gonna scare the children." She joked as Maggie and Glenn walked by, deep in their own conversation. I looked down at my torn t-shirt covered in blood, my hair hanging down in large clumps of dried blood. I stood, hugging Carol goodbye and heading inside.

I headed up the stairs to the corner cell at the end of the hall Daryl and I co-exsisted in and grabbed clean clothes and stuff I needed for my shower. I smiled at the stupid dried flowers in the beer bottle he gave me months ago, remembering how overly amazing he was in those private moments.

I still saw him as the tough, loner badass he was when we met but honestly, he was so much more. His hair had grown out, facial hair too. His muscles were twice the size they were when we met and he smiled a lot when we were together. We just flowed well.

I showered for as long as I could stand, dressed in jeans and a clean tank top, pulling my boots back on and walking back to our block. It was night when I walked outside, hopping up on the back of the car and lighting a cigarette. Everyone seemed to be asleep- it was just me and the crickets out here. I laid back against the glass. Looking up at the sky I felt like I was covered in a blanket of moon and stars lighting up my body and keeping me safe. As a child the brightly lit sky was always my salivation- my world to dream and plan away; escape the hell that was my life.

I felt hands on my sides, looking to see Daryl standing in front of me. He was studying me with his eyes, a look of concern on his face. "You okay B?" He asked and I nodded, sitting up and putting my arm around his neck- my knees holding his hips. I kissed him softly, allowing the kiss to deepen for a few seconds before it broke. He smelled so clean- his hair still wet from a shower as I ran my free hand across his chest- feeling his heart pounding.

"You okay Tank?" I asked with a smile and he chucked.

"Mmhmm. Better now. Been worried bout you." His arm was around my waist as he kissed my neck softly- the two of us enjoying the closeness in the dark. "Shane's taking shift tonight. Wanna go lay down with me?" I nodded, squealing as he picked me up- kissing me again with a smile on his face.

"Thanks for saving my ass." I whispered, causing him to frown as he put me down.

"Rule one B. Don't die." He sighed, kissing my forehead. "This new world would fucking suck without you." He was quiet for several minutes as we stood there, breathing in solitude- something heavy hanging over us but I wasn't sure what. Finally he sighed, his muscles tightening around me. "So...... We gonna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" I asked, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

"You know.... what you said."

"Ohh.. you mean that?"

"Mmhmm."

I shrugged, my arm around his neck as he tightened his grip on my waist like he was afraid I would float away. "What about it?"

"Never said it before."

"Did you not know I loved you?" I asked, frowning. He looked so vulnerable as he stood before me, my words still clearly echoing in his ears. "Daryl Dixon. I am in love with you." I said softly, my body shaking slightly as I said it. It's not that I hadn't known since the first kiss we shared- I just... I dunno.

"I.... fuck." He cleared his throat, kissing my forehead and bringing his mouth down to my ear, whispering the words I didn't know I would ever hear from him. "I love you too B." He smirked at me as I stood there, grin on my face. "Like you didn't already know that."

"I did. I do."

"You do huh?" He smirked again, his eyebrow raised as he studied me. "Well, I do too." His lips crashed against mine for several seconds as our hands roamed a bit. I took him by the hand and led him over to the car where we climbed in the back, privacy finally allowing us to explore each other properly.

**************************

The sun was up when I awoke, curled up in the back seat of the car with Daryl. I could hear people talking outside and scrambled to pull my clothes on as Daryl woke up, doing the same. We were both laughing as we emerged from the vechile. Shane and Carol were standing over by the truck with amused expressions on their faces.

"Morning you two!" Carol said loudly with a huge smile on her face. "We thought you were missing! Good thing I found you out here earlier!" My face was instantly beet red as I looked over at Daryl who was shaking his head and walking away, Shane following after him.

"Shut up." I groaned at her, smile still on my face.

"In the future- you do have a suite inside...." she started, laughing as I flipped her off and walked away- following Shane inside.

"I wanna see him." I said, grabbing Shane's arm but he pulled away, shaking his head.

"Uh- nuh. Not happening. He'll talk." He informed me, walking away again. "Go see Hershel." He hollared as he walked away.

I rolled my eyes, walking to the med center area and sat down on the bed. Hershel checked the wound and cleaned it- giving me antibiotics to prevent infection. I went to dining hall and ate canned peaches and diced potatoes with Maggie and T-Dog then went upstairs and fell asleep.


	13. Capable

I woke up to a hand over my mouth and a gun at my temple. I reached for my blade on my hip but it was removed. My eyes were opened wide as I stared at the swollen and bloodied face of a man towering over me.

"Lets go." He hissed quietly, letting go of my mouth and pulling me up by my arm. His hand groped my breasts as I stood there, looking for something to hit him with. It was dark and I was having trouble getting my barings. I could hear my group hollaring from afar which meant they knew the prisoner had escaped. He looked to the doorway, studying their words. This was my chance. I just had to pray he wouldn't get the shot off. I reached over, grabbing the beer bottle and slamming it into his head as hard as I could, pulling myself away from him but failing. His gun went off, hitting the wall behind me as he swung his free hand, punching me hard in the stomach and then my face.

"Carol!" I screamed as loud as I could as I collapsed on the ground with a hard thud. I kicked my feet out, hitting the guy behind the knee and knocking him down beside me. I was on him in a moment, punching him over and over in the face while pushing my knee into his groin as hard as I could. He reached for the gun, hitting me in the face and knocking me to the ground beside him again. I tried to get up but the room was spinning. Reaching out I get a peice of glass and grabbed it, just as he climbed on top of me.

"I like the rough fight kitten." He growled, his hand on my throat, the other going down my pants. I felt my body go limp for a moment as he touched me, thinking back to my father on top of me. As he shoved his hand inside me I screamed, slicing the glass hard into his neck and pulling down, his blood spilling all over my face and neck, soaking me completely. His eyes were wide as he tightened his grip on my throat. I kneed him hard in the groin and he fell on top of me in a bloodied heap.

"Jesus christ!" Maggie yelled, running into my room, pulling him off of me and helping me up. She kicked the body, ensuring it was dead and shut the cell door behind us. "You alright?"

"How did he..." I managed to ask, frown on my face.

"He's been missing for hours. Daryl and Shane went out to find him. They thought he left. He killed Joe." I frowned, thinking of the young kid we brought in a few months ago. He didn't deserve that. I could hear a baby crying somewhere in the distance and it made me jump.

"Lori's baby?" I asked quietly and Maggie nodded, forcing a smile on her face.

"It's been a hell ufa night." She muttered, sighing as the guy locked in my room began to growl. She took out her knife and opened the door, ending it quickly with a blade to the skull.

I went and showered real quick, talking to Carol as I did. She helped me a little, seeing me struggle with my hair. I protested, but to no avail. After, I followed her up to the guard tower. She was on duty and I just needed a damn minute.

"It's okay ya know? To be upset... you could of died."

"Yeah... but I'm not. I'm just... this place isn't safe."

"Sure it is. One guy did one bad thing. Don't lose hope."

I shrugged, lighting a cigarette and staring off into the world around me. My neck was killing me. I could still feel his hand in my pants. I promised myself I wouldn't be a victim anymore and there I was, hesitating. I did what I had to do but I just felt dirty. The kind of dirty a shower couldn't help.

"I know you aren't much of a talker but I am here okay?" I nodded, smoking my cigarette and tossing it into the empty water bottle beside me.

"Lori had the baby?" I said more than asked, Carol smiling at me.

"Lori, she uhh... didn't make it. It's been an awful night. Carl- he put her down."

"Not Lori." I frowned, taking in the information. "I better go check on Carl."

"He's okay. Everyone's okay. Just waiting on Shane to get back. He's not going to take any of this well."

I leaned against the wall, my eyes feeling heavy as I rested. Everything was falling apart today. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

*************************************

Daryls P.O.V.

We pulled back into camp as day broke. We spent all night looking for that mother fucker but came up empty. Glenn sprained his ankle, T-Dog almost lost his ass to some walkers and I was tired. We had to wait a good five minutes for Carol to come down and let us in. Something wasn't right. She had this look of gloom on her face as she approached the car. I got out, studying her but she wouldn't even look at me.

"Shane. We gotta...." she stopped, Carl coming outside with a baby in his arms. I watched as joy spread over his face, his hand running over his head as he looked back to Carol. She didn't meet his smile. She looked broken. "Shane...." she started again but he shook his head, walking away from her and approaching Carl, pulling him into a hug. I could hear the kid crying and I knew- I just fucking knew she didn't make it. Carol met my eyes and shook her head, walking towards me.

"What happened?" I asked her but she didn't respond for a long time.

"The guy was here. Britt... she...." I took off into the prison, going up the steps two at a time, stopping in front of the cell we shared- my heart pounding when I stopped in the doorway, seeing blood all over the bed and floor. I felt like I couldn't breathe- like the oxygen was sucked out of my body.

"Daryl?" I heard Maggie's voice and looked up, her eyes sad. "You okay?"

"Britt?" I mustered out and she shook her head.

"Daryl. She's okay. She's fine. She's with my dad in medical." I wiped my face, momentarily hating what she has turned me into. This fucking slush of a person that I would die for one thousand times. She's the only one who could break thru. She was the only one who could affect me like this. Maggie told me everything that happened, forcing me to sit and calm down before going to see her. She was pretty shook up from the night but seemed to be handling it okay.

"Britt okay?"

"I dunno Daryl. She isn't much for sharing- you know her. She passed out in the guard tower and Carol couldn't wake her so we took her to my dad. He thinks she's just exhausted."

"I gotta go." I told her- heading to see Britt, silently promising her to follow rule one. She had to. She promised me. She fucking said I do. I would marry her in a heartbeat- church bells and all if she wanted. She changed me. I loved her and hated her for it all at once. Hershel stepped aside when I walked in, patting me on the back to give us time alone.

She had deep red marks on her neck, her eye swollen. She opened her eyes when I sat on the bed beside her, grabbing my hand.

"You good?" I asked and she nodded, sitting up. "No, seriously. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Tank. I'm good. You guys at least get anything out of him?"

"Yeah. Hes from a town called Woodbury. Days walk from the store."

"We gotta go check this place out." She groaned, holding her head. The gunshot wound on her shoulder was swollen and had a red ring around it. Infection. She turned her gaze to where I was focused and sighed. "I know. It'll be fine. I'm ok. Really."

"Rule one."

"I'm alive. See?" She asked, taking my hand and placing it on her chest. I could feel her heart pounding as she looked at me. "I just... I gotta get outta here."

"Shane's not letting anyone out any time soon." I told her and she jumped up, pacing in the small room.

"I can't... Daryl I can't...." she sighed, tossing her hair behind her face and staring at the floor, tears falling down her face. This was not the woman I knew. This person was fragile, vulnerable, flowing with weakness. "I hesitated." She whispered, looking up at me. "He stuck his hand down......." her body shuttered, her head shaking as she looked away. "My body went limp....."

Vulnerable was not my wheelhouse. I had the urge to yell at her because I didn't know what else to do. She killed him- she did what she had to do. I was just glad she was okay. This crying, shaking, this part.... I don't know how to handle.

"I..... I gotta go check on Shane." I muttered, standing and kissing her forehead. "Rule two B." I whispered, walking away. Carol smiled from the doorway as I passed, hugging Britt as she sobbed. Good. She can help her. I don't know how.


	14. Rule Two

"So what's rule two?" Carol asked me as we sat outside on the far edge of the prison. We were sharing a bottle of tequila and smoking cigarettes, where we had been all day long. We talked about my dad.... my ex-husband.... and all the men who had forced themselves on me at their consent. Daryl was there first guy i had ever had sex with that I wanted to and it took me a long time to really, truly accept what we had. I was always waiting for him to hurt me or use me or force me into a situation where I was a victim. He helped me heal every single day. I told him about my past and he accepted every part of me.

"Uh..." I laughed, blushing at her.

"Come on... he's never gonna tell me!" She smirked.

"We established rules. For our... I dunno. We don't even say we are together. It's not like he calls me his girlfriend or anything. But we are... ya know. Together."

"Actually.... he told Glenn you said your I do's." She smirked and I frowned at her. "Maggie said the guys were giving him a hard time about your car hook up and he told them it was because it was a special night and such." I blushed, shaking his head. Daryl was not the type to talk about our private stuff. It was so out of character. I bet he hated every single second of that conversation. "So... what are your rules?"

"Rule one- don't die. Rule two- save ourselves. Rule three- truth." I stated slowly. We also promised each other we wouldn't sacrifice ourselves to save the other.... but thats a bit harder to do. I'd die for him...." I sighed, laying back in the grass. "He didn't know what to say when I was crying. He doesn't want to see me like that."

"Would you?"

"Nope. I would of left too." I admitted.

"Just know he loves you even on the hard days." She whispered, looking past me towards the prison. "We all love you- even when shit gets rough."

"I don't wanna be this person anymore."

"So don't be." She smiled down at me. "Learn to sit right with yourself."

"I thought I had." I told her with a shrug. "I need to get out there. Soon as possible."

"Shane and Daryl are on there way to the community now. Start a truce."

"Without me?" I asked, a frown formed on my face. I wanted to scream, to throw things. This was bullshit. I told them I wanted to go.

"The guy told them they needed women. They don't want to let on how many we have."

I nodded, dropping the subject and hoping she bought it. Soon as I healed up I was making my way there. Hell or High Water.


End file.
